On a Plane…on a train…45 years apart…still dreaming the dream…its real…dream what you want and what you feel

I am on a plane…it’s a dream…4 months in the wilds, well wilds compared to most people on the planet, but what is wild anyway?

The plane, does it arrive or not?  It’s my dream.  I am writing it now…this moment I am on a plane writing this part of my life…

Once upon a time I was riding on a train.  The train was bound for Calcutta…it was a long time ago, perhaps it’s just another dream…could it be a former incarnation. 

I once asked my aged mother, ‘mum what do you think about reincarnation?’ this question I asked many, many years after the dream of riding that train bound for Calcutta in 71’.

“Well I don’t know about reincarnation (I want to dress it up a bit, you know say something mythical like “what in tarnation”, I am really a poet not a writer), but’…she spoke, ‘I guess I have been reincarnated so many times in this life…’

She dreamed a dream you see…it’s all a dream…my dear mother passed away as predicted…a week after I was electrocuted in Thailand…it’s as if she sent me the message she was going perhaps…it takes a lot to wake me up.

After I was electrocuted…I actually died, or at least at one point, in this torturous event, this horrifying experience, I heard way off in the distance this other worldly scream and in the darkness of the unknown, in Shiva the nothing-ness I heard it and realized it was me…I like lightening I flashed back across the great divide, to fly back from death’s door, to once more inhabit this loving body that has bore me from yonder to yore…(ha! ha! just had to get poetic…) back into this sweet amazing body that has been the blessing of my life…

Standing barefoot on the concrete slab, the floor of my Thai friends coffee house I realized what my Swami kept saying, ‘don’t trust the time’.

‘I must call or write to everyone and tell them I love them…’my mother, my mother…how I felt her love and wanted to express mine…the summer before…the electrocution happened in February 2013 a week before my mother passed…’on her 90th birthday we had talked…I wasn’t exactly close to my mother…I left at a young age…my father and mother didn’t feel too good about me leaving Canada for the US to join a “cult” based on Yogananda’s teachings…it took 8 years for them to accept the fact that what ever that cult was about, ‘he sure has changed for the better, he’s not so wild…’

I imagined perhaps my parents or one of them thinking that…probably my mum…as my dad saw in me himself I am sure, wild, eager, adventurous and just slightly crazy…not enough to get me locked up, thank goodness for that…they knew well enough to get me off the streets of Edmonton by the time I was 12…anyway this is all about dreams yes/no…my dreams in this case, yours perhaps in reading this story??

Anyway my mum had asked me upon hearing my one musical claim to fame that she wanted me to sing the mantra I had recorded called Om Gam Ganesha…for those of you who don’t know Ganesha is the remover of all obstacles, well let’s clarify that just a little, perhaps not all obstacles as that’s a bit of a global statement and probably has some charge behind…charge being energy…like the 220 volts that had just coursed thru my body…

As I stood there…I heard Swami Kaleshwarji’s voice, “don’t trust the time”, I thought, ‘ya…I can’t put off the music any longer…gotta do it’.  But first, get online and tell everyone how much you love them, call your daughters, your mum…”don’t trust the time!”

I had this pain up my right arm…the current had come up my fingers, up my arm…as it came, and of course this all happened in a few seconds, the electricity was instantaneously electrifying my body as it went up into my brain down thru my heart and out my left foot…it was the most terrifying second of my existence…it’s as if I knew in that moment I was dead, it wasn’t so much the pain, but this realization as I felt it move thru my body with such a demonic command that I was going down…down into my heart and I was gone…they say that if you are blessed and encounter a saint, even just a second in his or her presence is an eternity…this was an eternity in which I floated in the darkest of the dark, empty of all thought, knowledge or questions, no beginning no end, boundless bliss and yet until I heard that eerie scream way off in some distant land I was back…(I guess I am not so easy to wake up…) perhaps the masters, or this god, universe creation just got fed up with my shenanigans…my second wife used to call me the reluctant messiah…I’m and old hippie, ‘I just want peace, love and all that shit’…another spirit living with this experience we call being…and human…an attempt on my part, like “not trying”, for trying is dying as the old cliche goes…In India you are honored for doing nothing…just living with the intention to make sense out of life, this gift of creation that flows thru these atoms that comprise this perception of being real that is the illusion of something that has been installed in my head, or sub-conscious…body being the receptor of the sub-conscious…for in reality enlightenment is simply understanding and dis-associating from this reflection we see in the mirror…it’s not a big deal…

It’s not some heaven or bliss place, it’s understanding that everything you create is your personal illusion…as they say forearmed is forewarned…yes?  and as the illusion starts to unravel you start to see what’s behind your illusion…it’s Kali, Mahakali, her necklace of human skulls dripping with blood, her teeth ready to waste you like no man with a gun could possibly do.  And you surrender into her loving arms knowing you will never be the same after she has had her way with you.

Where was I?  it all comes down to this moment it’s irrelevant where I was in this dream, this story, but perhaps you want to know more of the story…the plane ride that I am on right now? Vancouver to Bangkok?  The train that is heading for Calcutta, my mother…yes my mother she died as predicted, within a few months of what I had been told 4 years before, that’s another story that is in another book so I am not going to go into detail about my Naadi Palm Leaf…predictions, generally don’t give details it seems…those are filled, the blanks so to speak, as time passes…and a 100 lashes…you realize after the fact that the events even when known don’t seem to line up as you expect them to…do you know what I mean?

I just had a question, “why all this story anyway…? what purpose does it serve…? well that’s up to who ever reads this, it’s not my business, do you understand, I am merely the vehicle for something beyond my personal desire, intention or even existence…after many long years on the road it appears to me as merely a dream anyway…so as I wrote in one of my songs, paraphrasing Satguru, “Life is a dream, the dream is real, why not do what you want and do what you feel.

You see that’s what we are doing anyway…95% behind the scenes, back too…”you create your own reality…”this must be understood on all illusory levels…I won’t even begin on the third illusion, the four ideas within the ether the atom/anu, time/kala, space/desa and AUM the vibratory quality of All That Is-ness…which is beyond our comprehension any way so we leave that one for later in the story…that boundless, void within our thought forms, beliefs and stories…waste of time all this religious pursuit of that which can not be apprehended let alone comprehended…strange, mysterious and fascinating world we inhabit…especially those dimension we can not conceive or even perceive…let alone figuring out this two dimensional world of good and evil… 

Again, imagination being the key, even though as a child you where most likely made fun of, ‘oh, dear it’s just your imagination.’  Well, ya…mum, what the fud, that’s all it is, duh!’

Do you understand? so life is a dream…unfortunately all you new agers who imagine you can just think it into being, or magically manifest as a result of some words you keep telling yourself…you only have about 5% computing power in the conscious mind…and 95% running in the back ground, the sub-conscious programming that is embedded in every cell, molecule and atom of your perceived existence…which brings us back to your self-created illusion…or mine it’s if you prefer…if you don’t see that one, that one referring to yours not mine, then it’s impossible to skip to the Mother’s illusion, this creation, or manifestation of the nothing-ness…do you get it?  Perhaps I can be some sort of reflection for you as I self-discover as well…but lest we forget I am telling my story, your’s is your’s alone to live, dream, create and endure…I think of all of this goodness and imagine I am seeding the either for my next incarnation…it took most of my life to discover the #1 practice is Seva, to serve through out all the moments, to express the joy of life, to act exactly as I please, to lighten peoples hearts and embrace that part of me that is the clown with the gold crown, the man with his feet on the ground, the one who has been found…”the secret might be, simply discover how to be…what do you think?” 

And perhaps doing which is the male energy can come from within the being…it doesn’t appear our society get’s that one…you know what I mean…?

So, to put a tag on that concept, imagine female is the being (Mother Nature/Divine) male is the Nothing-ness/Shiva…without the mother the Shiva can’t express itself…in aspects of life it simply shiva/shakti…sex is for procreation, sexual energy through the practice of Tantra is the Being uniting with the None-Being and raising that energy up to the Peneal Gland to expand and explode the DMT.

So…I was finally seeing thru my self-inflicted illusion, the mother had to blast me I suppose so I could see beyond my self-fish…or shell fish nature and burst out into the sea or reality…whee! what a fucking ride…I’m an old hippie and nothing can describe something better to those of us who once upon a time where flower children traipsing along the hippie trail, fuck says it all…especially in moments of absolute exasperation within this journey of life…”What the fud…?”…fear uncertainty and doubt…fud!!

Anyway, I ma a notta much like that? just a few times to get my point across…

So, in another, “what the fuck…” it could mean something sweet or something coming…never mind…no mind la…la,la…la,la…that’s how i describe what’s going on in the USA…it’s la la land.

So hears the deal…I like to tell my story, sometimes in song, sometimes in poetry and often like fireside chats or satsangs…but I am willing to reveal myself more and more, for as I said or actually Swami Kaleshwar told us, don’t trust the time…lots of fodder in that one.  I would write more regularly, post things like this on fb and on my blog if I get a response…

And I put this at the end because it’s those of you reading this right now I want to work with…not the lookie loos who want an instant fix…I ain’t no guru you see, I am just a simple man, that, ‘I call me…’I am not special nor special I am not, for all is the middle way, the Buddha has taught…I am a man in skin and bones…skin well it’s starting to fall off my bones…I am real in so far as I can reveal and see that part of myself…but if what I have to say here today is not worth my time or yours, I won’t waste it you see because of what he told me, that which he promised would eventually be revealed within the concept of time…you can’t escape your karma boy, it’s the only thing that is real…it’s neither destiny or freedom apparently according to Ramana Maharishi that saint who is such a mystery…shout if you are listening or not…for it’s up to the outer world to suck the knowledge that I have been taught…if not…oh well it’s only a foray into the energy world you see, if not in this medium then it’s the number one pursuit…music and me…perhaps that is the fruit of the loom…there is no one out there except your story this I ponder as I sit on the balcony of my seaside rasta cabin in the jungle overlooking the sea, mountains blue oh so blue skies clouds passing like thoughts in front of the moon…rasta nights, rasta moon, off to India, but not to soon, this little lagoon another tune…

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